10 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life

A healthy sex routine is vital in everyone’s life for their own, and partner satisfaction, for achieving a healthy mind and body that will lead to positive changes and an overall happy attitude towards life. Sex is more than physical contact or intercourse, it involves several factors that are emotional, environmental and behavioral. Have you ever thought you would like to be a master in bed? How to please your partner, or simply, how to improve your sex life? I know you do, most of us want to improve in bed and rock our partner! We want you to show you the best 10 tips to improve your sex life according to mental health experts, so you can make those intimate times unforgettable!

1- Communication and emotional openness. According to experts, relationship satisfaction is linked to sexual satisfaction. They found that self-disclosure, emotional proximity and interpersonal positive communications are fundamental for a healthy relationship. If you think sex is not involved with feelings, think again. Experiences of unresolved conflicts, fear of rejection, feelings of not being in love, or emotional distance, have been shown to be associated with lower sexual satisfaction. Try to focus on hanging out more with your partner, keep interest in his or her life and try to be emotionally close, trying to avoid any emotional walls of anger, mistrust, or miscommunication, that will lead to problems in any relationship, and eventually to a cold environment in the bedroom. 

2- Keep your anxiety levels low. Anxiety has shown to be linked with greater sexual dysfunction in men and women. High levels of anxiety in everyday routine is detrimental for mental and physical health and that involves sex as well. A healthy sexual response involves relaxation and tension of the body, so keeping anxiety low is the key for controlling the performance anxiety or nervousness of being in intimate with the beloved one. There are hundreds of ways to keep anxiety levels down: exercise, meditation, yoga, arts, volunteering, etc.,choose the best ways that fit into your routine.

3- Create an erotic environment. If you are tired of the same couch routine, why don’t you try to set up a sexy and erotic environment as a big surprise for your partner? In order to create an erotic environment one must enhance and stimulate in a sexy and erotic way all senses: taste, touch, imagination, smell, sight. Sight is essential, so keep everything in order with your bedroom and try to use illumination as an ally; taste can be stimulated by a romantic dinner or through the introduction of aphrodisiacs such as chocolate or strawberry; smell can be enhanced through pheromones, candles or perfumes. Imagination involves creating an aura, a story for this magic moment(role play, erotic toys). Remember it isn’t just sex, it could be an erotic journey as well!

4- Educate yourself about sex. Knowing how our bodies and mind work during a sexual relationship will help us in developing a clear understanding of our emotional and physical needs as well as our partners. Knowing the differences between female and male arousal, concepts such as refractory period or the location and stimulation of the g spots can make a huge difference. Try to read as much as you can, but remember, don’t believe everything you learn! Sexual identity is a very personal choice.

 

5- Lets talk about sex! Do you find it difficult to speak about those hot topics with your partner? That eventually can lead to sexual problems. Try to know about the tastes, turn-ons and turn-offs of your partner. Try to talk about your fantasies in bed, not just keep them to yourself, you might be surprised by the way your partner reacts to your fantasies. Erotic-informative videos and workshops are a wonderful way to break the ice, and make sex a normal topic in your life.

6- Pelvic floor massages. Kegels and pelvic floor massages have shown a lot of improvements in sex life for men and women. Premature ejaculation, healthy erections, and increase of orgasm frequency and intensity in women have been proven. These exercises don’t need any special devices to be performed, so they can be done almost everywhere with no side effects.

7- Kama-sutra and new positions. I know you have heard about this antique Indian treatise, so look for it! You can have a revolution in your sex life by introducing one of the hundreds positions shown in Kama-Sutra. You don’t need to be a yogi or a gymnast. These positions are great because they involve awareness of breath, and can help you reach another level of excitement and pleasure. Don’t be afraid to look at your local library for this ancient wisdom treatise!

8- Body Image. You have to look good. Low body image has been shown to be linked with sexual dysfunction and lower sexual satisfaction. If we don’t feel good about our body, or if we don’t have enough confidence, we are going to be ashamed or anxious about our nakedness and sexual performance. Try doing exercise to improve your body image, try using sexy lingerie or clothing, and keeping a good weight balance will give you the confidence for being naked at any time.

9- Make an erotic massage. Now that you know how to do an erotic environment (Yes with candles, and roses, and a previous romantic dinner) you can make a romantic massage to your partner that will contribute to the emotional and physical closeness, relieve anxiety and increase the awareness of sensations. Erotic massage is a vast field and can be used in almost any creative way. Rubbing, scrubbing, touching, caressing all along the body(not only genitals) will awaken your sensibility and pleasure.

10- Know and explore yourself. Self-erotocism is essential in any relationship. That doesn’t mean you need to be pleasing yourself all day long to be a master in bed, not at all!. The secret link between self-erotocism is the awakening of your Kundalini, the root chakra that gives you sexual energy. If you don’t know how to please yourself, how do you expect someone else to please you? Exploring your own erotocism will produce greater body acceptance while leaving mental discourses about guilt and inadequacy behind.

There are many factors involved in maintaining or improving healthy sex habits: Keep in mind sex is a deal for two, not only one, and that it involves emotional, erotic, environmental and psychological factors, try to keep positive changes in all 4 dimensions so you can boost your sex life to the maximum!

References
Byers, S,(2005) “Relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction: a longitudinal study of individuals in long-term relationships. The Journal of Sex Research
Wiegel, Sciekowski & Barlow (1990) Cognitive-Affective Processes in Sexual Arousal and Sexual Dysfunction
Masters, W.H.; Johnson, V.E. (1966). Human Sexual Response. Toronto; New York: Bantam Book
Pujols Y; Meston, C; & Sea (2010)l The Association Between Sexual Satisfaction and Body Image in Women J Sex Med. 2010 February; 7(2 Pt 2): 905–916.
Vatsyayana, M. (s.f.). Vatsyayana. Kamasutra. Burton, R y Arbuthnot, F. (1883). Kama Shastra Society.
Kenway M. and Goh J. (2009) Inside Out – The essential women’s guide to pelvic support
Dodson B,(1996) Sex for one, The joy of selfloving